From: Yance Davis 

Harpua Files:   11/28/92

Standard late-in-the-second-set Harpua, the beginning is tight and fun
as
usual...

  "That's right folks, we're going back inside of Fish's head one more
time... Because there's something that you didn't know and that's that..
yesterday when we were trying to jump from the ear canal over the brain
and we all fell into the void in Gamehendge, what you didn't know was
that
Had we gone a little bit farther and gotten onto the brain, you picture
this mass, this huge clump of grey matter that's sitting inside his head
with crevasses and everything while far in one of those crevasses, deep
on
one of those huge lumps of brain that's a hill far up in the distance
there lived... an ugly man and his mangy hound and they lived up in a
tiny
shack.. a circular little dome house that had a little hot tub extension
on the outside of it of it and he lived all the way up there all alone
and
this old man had this horrible dog named . . . HarPua . . .

  "Well on this particular day, the old man was lounging in the hot tub
while unbeknownst to him the dog Harpua decided to go for a little walk,
so he started to walk across the field and down the dirt road past the
pond out onto the other connective dirt road, took a left, went about 3
miles out to the paved road started walking down, finding himself
tumbling
down, walking down over these things, finally made the jump over the
crevasse onto the ear canal down the ear canal over the head into the
hair, down the neck, down the back, down the leg over the drum riser,
down
the drum riser leg, down the felt thing, up the thing, down underneath
everybody's feet, out into the street, takes a left, goes down the
street
and starts walking past the liquor store at the corner. .

  (almost the entire previous paragraph was spoken at a frenetic pace,
so
when Trey finally finished off he got a pretty decent applause.)

  "Well the old man didn't know where this dog Harpua was going, but at
this point in time he was walking into midtown Port Chester to look for
a
little action.  So he walked through, past the liquor store, down route
120 and he's walking along and slowly the buildings started to turn into
trees and the trees had houses in them and first it was apartment
buildings and slowly he realized that he was in the Nice section of
town.
And he walked along and he was walking along the nice section of town
and
meanwhile, unbeknownst to anyone, inside one of the houses, there sat a
young boy..

  "And his name was Jimmy.  And on this particular day, Jimmy was
sitting
in his room with his favorite kitty cat, listening to the radio.  They
were listening to the classic rock station and they were listening to
the
big hit song. .

  (Trey then starts the main riff for the Spin Doctor's "Jimmy Olsen's
Blues."  Unlike most of the covers they've done in the past during
Harpua,
this one was REALLY short with Trey singing out "I don't think I can
handle this" before stopping right away and going back into the
narration.
Really, this is more of a tease than anything else...)

  "So they were sitting in there listening to their favorite new record.
And Jimmy as he turned up the volume, he turned around and he looked
down
on his cat and he said "I love sitting here listening to the Spin
Doctors
with my favorite cat," and he looked down and he pet the little cat and
he
said "oh, I love you.. Ohhhh Ohh.  nnnn . nnnaaooo.. Oh I love you so
much.  That's why I named you.. nnnnhhh my favorite cat.. that's why I
named you .. oh your name is obviously..  my favorite kitty.. hhhnn Your
name is.. I named you ***POSTER NUTBAG***!!!!!!"

  "So he looks down at Poster Nutbag and Poster Nutbag suddenly gets up,
stretches his back and decides to go for a little walk.  So he walks out
the door and across the  path and he's outside, and he starts heading
down
the the lawn and everything's beautiful except that he doesn't realize
that.. he doesn't realize that right around the corner is the evil
Harpua
and all of a sudden as he rounds the corner, he comes face to face with
Harpua, and Harpua lets an angry growl out.. and Harpua knows, that the
fight is about to begin..  They look at each other.  Harpua coils his
body
into a deadly arch.  A hungry drip of saliva drips on the ground.